When women are polled on reasons why they did not start or
why they stopped breastfeeding their babies, one of the reasons that is often
mentioned is lack of support from their partners. Breastfeeding in today’s society takes a real commitment,
and not just from moms. Dads have
a huge role to play in the success of the breastfeeding relationship.
Like moms, most dads truly want
what’s best for their babies. Not
all dads are aware of the amazing health benefits that breastfeeding can
provide for their children, but these benefits are considerable. Breastfeeding promotes bonding, brain
development and optimal health in babies.
Formula-fed babies are more likely than breastfed babies to fall victim
to diarrhea, gastrointestinal, respiratory, ear and urinary tract infections,
as well as vomiting and other symptoms.
Formula-fed babies also have more cases of allergies and asthma, are
hospitalized more, get meningitis more often and are more likely to be victims
of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Later in life, children who were formula-fed have more incidences of
cancer, diabetes, heart disease, Crohn’s disease, multiple sclerosis and
rheumatoid arthritis than do breastfed babies. There are also important health benefits for mothers who
breastfeed. Women who nurse their children have decreased incidence of numerous
forms of cancer. They get fewer
urinary tract infections while nursing, and have less incidence of osteoporosis
later in life. The evidence is
clear that breastfeeding is worth the effort.
Unlike most aspects of parenting,
breastfeeding is something that only mothers can do. So what can dads do to help their partners breastfeed? The good news is that there are lots of
ways that dads can be a big help with breastfeeding. August is World Breastfeeding Month and a good time to think
about supporting your partner’s efforts to breastfeed. This article provides ten tips to get
dads started. The more involved dads
become in helping their partners, the more ideas they will come up with all on
their own.
Tip One: Encourage a Network of Support and
Education From The Start: Most hospitals offer breastfeeding
classes for pregnant women and while it can be good to attend these classes,
they rarely provide mothers with all of the information and support that they
need to breastfeed successfully.
Encourage your partner to regularly attend La Leche League meetings or
other breastfeeding support group meetings while she is pregnant as well as
after the baby comes. Read books
about breastfeeding with your partner so that she knows that you think
breastfeeding is important, too.
Tip Two: Create a Formula-Free Zone: Infant
formula is a very valuable product that society is lucky to have. Because of its existence, babies who
cannot be breastfed, such as many of those who are not living with their birth
mothers, now enjoy very high rates of survival. The presence of infant formula can, however, interfere with
getting breastfeeding started. The
early weeks of breastfeeding can be very difficult if a mother has not grown up
surrounded by breastfeeding women.
Most people think that breastfeeding should come naturally, but it is
really a learned skill for both mothers and babies. Having formula in the house makes it easy to give up and
offer a bottle when things get hard, so do not buy any and get rid of all the
free samples that are probably coming in the mail and as gifts. Many men feel helpless when they see
their partners struggling with breastfeeding and want to make things easier for
them. Encouraging your partner to
offer a bottle or to let you offer one won’t help. Mothers often mistakenly feel that their partners are not
supporting their efforts to breastfeed and do not want them to breastfeed when
their partners do this. When
things are hard, your partner needs the encouragement that you know she can do
it.
Tip Three: Know That The Baby Will Nurse All The
Time: Breastfed babies have to eat a lot more often than formula-fed babies
do. A lot more often. In the early months of breastfeeding,
expect the baby to be nursing pretty much all the time, day and night. Many parents become alarmed that this
means that the baby is not getting enough milk, but babies are just made that
way. As long as your baby is
having 6-8 wet diapers a day, she should be getting plenty of milk.
Tip Four: Your Drink, Madam: Nursing
mothers are extremely thirsty all the time. While breastfeeding is very healthy for mothers, its physical
demands put your partner at a real risk of dehydration if she does not get
enough to drink. Having a baby
attached to her chest all the time can make it inconvenient for your partner to
be running to the kitchen for frequent refills. That’s where you come in. When your partner is breastfeeding, make sure that she
always has a beverage at hand. It
is really important and is an easy way for you to keep your partner healthy.
Tip Five: You Don’t Need to Feed The Baby Yet: Many
dads encourage mothers to let them feed bottles to their babies so they can
share in the experience of feeding the baby or help at night. Although this is fun for dads, it can
also interfere with breastfeeding.
Even if the bottle is full of expressed breastmilk, every feeding that a
mother misses makes it harder to keep up her milk supply. To keep up an optimal milk supply,
bottle-feeding should be saved for necessities, like if mom needs to work away
from her baby. There are plenty of
ways that dads can bond with their babies other than giving them bottles. Dads can be in charge of bath-time, for
example. Also, most babies are
ready to begin trying some solid foods during the second half of their first
year. Dads can be the number one
baby food feeder when that time comes.
It will be there before you know it.
Tip Six: Good Night, Sleep Tight: Babies
need to breastfeed at night and this can make it hard for your partner to get a
good night’s sleep. If your baby
sleeps in a crib, you can help by going to get the baby as soon as she stirs
and bringing her to your partner to nurse. When the baby is finished, you can change her diaper and get
her back in her bed. If your
partner needs to get up for work in the morning or to take care of other
children, though, separate sleeping arrangements may not work out. If your partner cannot nap during the
day while the baby naps to make up for the time she has to nurse at night, your
family might want to consider co-sleeping. A family bed can allow your baby to nurse without fully
waking up your partner so that they both get a better night’s sleep. Note: co-sleeping requires sobriety and is not a safe option for
parents who drink alcohol at night or use drugs. Be sure to educate yourself about safe co-sleeping
first!
Tip Seven: Pick Up The Slack: It
may seem like all your partner does is sit around all day, but breastfeeding is
not the passive activity that it can appear. It takes up lots of energy as well as time and your partner
is going to tire easily. Your baby
will only be little for a short while, so now is the time to pitch in. Don’t expect your partner to be able to
handle all the responsibilities she may have handled before baby. Breastfeeding has to be her main job
for now. Support that by getting
things done around the house and not asking too much from her.
Tip Eight: Forget Your Audience: You
and your partner may both feel shy about nursing in public at first. The truth is, though, that babies have
to nurse a lot and your partner is not likely to continue doing it if it means
she has to stay home all the time.
Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and is nothing to be ashamed of doing
in public. Encourage your partner
to practice nursing in front of a mirror until she feels confident that she can
nurse as discreetly as she wants to nurse when out and about. Then encourage her to take the baby
anywhere she wants to and to hold her head up high. Let her know that she should be proud to be a nursing mother
anywhere.
Tip Nine: Three’s Company: Many
women feel pressure from their partners to leave the baby for couple-time. Lay off. Romantic overnight trips away from the baby are just not
practical during the first year when your baby is primarily breastfed. If your partner works a full-time job
away from the baby, even regular evenings out may not be practical. Nursing is a supply and demand thing
and babies have to nurse often to keep up a mother’s supply. Couple-time is important but it doesn’t
have to separate mother and baby.
Nursing babies are very portable and it is usually easy to have a
pleasant dinner in a nice restaurant or go to the movies with baby. Candlelight dinners and videos at home
are a good way to spend time together as well. Your baby is only a baby for a short time and her baby days
will be over far too soon. Before
you know it, she will be having sleepovers and camping trips and you and your
partner will have plenty of time alone.
Tip Ten: Run Interference: We
don’t really live in a very breastfeeding-friendly society. Your partner may face criticism from
friends and family and even strangers about breastfeeding. More likely than outright criticism,
she may face lots of questions that undermine her confidence (She just
nursed. Why is she nursing
again? Do you think she’s getting
enough?) and she may
face many pressures that make breastfeeding hard. Lack of confidence is the worst enemy of successful
breastfeeding so shield her as best as you can from negative influences and let
her know that you back her up.
Supportive dads can make all the
difference to a mother’s ability to breastfeed successfully. By following the tips in this article,
dads can make a good start in supporting a healthy beginning for their babies. Asking moms what else would
help them with breastfeeding is a good way for dads to support their partners
even farther. By letting them know
that they are proud of breastfeeding efforts, dads can take a lot of pressure
off their partners and help their babies to grow strong. And strong, healthy babies are what all
parents want!
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