Summer O' Surgeries: Wisdom Teeth

The Girl got her wisdom teeth out yesterday.  The way things have gone this summer, the lead up to another surgery just seemed harrowing to both of us.  She did not like the idea of the sedative the oral surgeon used, I was terrified of any drug she had not used before being introduced - it was just stressful all-around.  She did great, though, and is now bopping around being resistant to my advice to ice it continuously in the way of young people who feel pretty much fine.

After having felt the heavy pressure of all the decisions to be made this summer, and the concern that - having just switched jobs and thereby lost my FMLA eligibility right before everything went down - someone else, like Lone Star Pa,  would need to take charge of some pretty serious decisions in Houston if the tests had not come out normal - I have a lot of cognitive dissonance about the fact that the Girl will soon be making all of her health care decisions herself.

On the one hand, I am  very concerned that she will spend a few years not being careful enough about her allergies, etc. to keep her as safe as I want her to be - until med school settles her down, probably.  On the other hand, there is a very guilty anticipation of relief over me not being the one at fault one way or another at that time.  Those sorts of conflicting feelings are difficult.  She will always be my child, after all. I would rather carry the stress of the decisions than have her be unsafe - truly.  Mostly.  Totally.  Yeah. 

Life is gorgeous, though, and good and I am and will remain super-grateful for her safety and all the good and joyful results of this summer.  I guess I'm just exhausted, too, though.  It's been so emotional.  I am trying to cut myself some slack and know that it is not really dissonant to be grateful and exhausted at the same time.  We are all exhausted.  We are good, though, and together.